1. I'm wearing black- which we all know is slimming
2. My underwear fit especially well that day (as not to pinch in a way that would produce a hip bulge)
3. I've finally found the correct height at which my pants should sit on my hips to make my extremely short torso appear longer, hence making me look slightly more thin
4. I'm not wearing a dress, which i do when I'm feeling bloated to make myself feel better. (Which inadvertently, makes me look bigger to the observer)
5. The stars are aligned
6. That person needs glasses
This whole summer I've gone with, "no...I'm just tan".
Most people accept this response as, "yes, that must be it", except for my friend T the other day. He said, "seriously, you look like you have been working out". I couldn't stop thinking about his comment all day. I for one, had not worked out all summer. In fact, during my 3 weeks in Costa Rica, I managed to find more entertaining activities to do with my time than attend my "already paid for" yoga classes. But, a tan can only take you so far, so what was causing all of these people to comment on my imaginary svelte new figure?
Most people accept this response as, "yes, that must be it", except for my friend T the other day. He said, "seriously, you look like you have been working out". I couldn't stop thinking about his comment all day. I for one, had not worked out all summer. In fact, during my 3 weeks in Costa Rica, I managed to find more entertaining activities to do with my time than attend my "already paid for" yoga classes. But, a tan can only take you so far, so what was causing all of these people to comment on my imaginary svelte new figure?
My reflection in this, brought me back to a memory of a time in my life as I would rather forget. I was teaching at my old school for my 5th year. At that point in my teaching career I didn't know enough on how to handle emotionally draining situations, but I was also too smart for the ridiculous actions and brainwashing of the administration at my school. I felt unsupported, uninspired, and unliked by parents and my principals. I woke up one day with what looked like a rash on my back. As the months passed, the rash spread, disappeared and reappeared in various locations all over my body. I went to doctor after doctor trying to figure out the cause of what was diagnosed as hives. It wasn't an allergy to food, or a skin irritation from something else. No one could give me an answer. I did know one thing though, when I would call the main office for assistance for the kid who just stabbed the other kid in my class with a pair of scissors, and no one would show up, I got really itchy!
Interesting....I started to notice the correlation between the acts of insanity in my classroom and my itchy skin. When I researched this some more, I read information that said that you can have hives that are stress induced. The bad news was that this could last months, even years. Great....
Interesting....I started to notice the correlation between the acts of insanity in my classroom and my itchy skin. When I researched this some more, I read information that said that you can have hives that are stress induced. The bad news was that this could last months, even years. Great....
What happened next? (Probably a topic for another blog) I was called in for jury duty in the month of June during that awful year. I happened to have a knack for listening to lawyers and telling them what they want to hear (especially when everyone else in the room is trying desperately to get out of it.) I was chosen for seat number 12 on a murder trial. This would probably cause the average Joe to get a case of hives, ironically it made mine disappear.
Now try NOT to focus on the poor sap sitting on trial for 1st degree murder of his girlfriend, but think about my new and improved situation! No more crazy kids, no more idiotic principals, no more stress! My new work hours were 10 am to 2 pm most days. In between listening to testimony I caught up on my episodes of Supernatural on my laptop. I ate lunch every day in the park at 12 pm, and I got to read the paper! I was becoming a version of my former self! Due to my new hours, I would hang out late into the night with old friends, talk on the phone, and even catch a movie here and there. My friends were astonished. "Michelle, what's going on with you? You look great!" "DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT????" At the time I brushed this comment off, didn't even think about it. My response, (hushed voice, lean in close) "no, I'm on a murder trial!"(Me smiling as if I just discovered the key to happiness). Yes, my friends were perplexed as to how the life sentence of one man, and the horrific death of his girlfriend could produce a radiant glow in me. Hopefully you understand it had nothing to do with their circumstances, but with removing the negativity from my life.
So no everyone, I did not lose physical weigh this summer, but I did lose metaphorical weight. The issues troubling me over the past few years have subsided. I've learned to let go, forgive, and move on with my life. A trip to Costa Rica, amazing friends, and a kindred soul from my past have all contributed to my "weight loss". It also made me realize that our bodies are an amazing thing! Just like not having to face an insane asylum everyday at my old job miraculously cured my hives, perhaps not having the stress of a past relationship did actually help to shed some pounds.
Or maybe I'm in such a happy place in my life that my "inner svelte body" is radiating out for all of the world to see:)
Now try NOT to focus on the poor sap sitting on trial for 1st degree murder of his girlfriend, but think about my new and improved situation! No more crazy kids, no more idiotic principals, no more stress! My new work hours were 10 am to 2 pm most days. In between listening to testimony I caught up on my episodes of Supernatural on my laptop. I ate lunch every day in the park at 12 pm, and I got to read the paper! I was becoming a version of my former self! Due to my new hours, I would hang out late into the night with old friends, talk on the phone, and even catch a movie here and there. My friends were astonished. "Michelle, what's going on with you? You look great!" "DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT????" At the time I brushed this comment off, didn't even think about it. My response, (hushed voice, lean in close) "no, I'm on a murder trial!"(Me smiling as if I just discovered the key to happiness). Yes, my friends were perplexed as to how the life sentence of one man, and the horrific death of his girlfriend could produce a radiant glow in me. Hopefully you understand it had nothing to do with their circumstances, but with removing the negativity from my life.
So no everyone, I did not lose physical weigh this summer, but I did lose metaphorical weight. The issues troubling me over the past few years have subsided. I've learned to let go, forgive, and move on with my life. A trip to Costa Rica, amazing friends, and a kindred soul from my past have all contributed to my "weight loss". It also made me realize that our bodies are an amazing thing! Just like not having to face an insane asylum everyday at my old job miraculously cured my hives, perhaps not having the stress of a past relationship did actually help to shed some pounds.
Or maybe I'm in such a happy place in my life that my "inner svelte body" is radiating out for all of the world to see:)
