(Pre-trip)
Everyone: "Wow! You're going to Costa Rica- how fun! With who?"
Me: "No one, just me".
Everyone: "Oh....well i'm sure you'll meet lots of people"or (after a 30 second pause in which the person wants to say the first comment, but goes with) "Wow, I wish I had the guts to travel alone".
It's funny that no one just says, "awesome" "have fun". I can only imagine it's because we live in a society where we spend the majority of our lives along side someone. Whether it be work, in your home, shopping, or even taking a pee in a public restroom! There's always someone around. Though it can be incredibly annoying at times (especially when you need to let one go in the Olive Garden bathroom), I think we all find peace in knowing "we are not alone". So the idea of voluntarily being alone for an extended amount of time scares most people.
I for one was welcoming the thought of not having to worry about if someone else was enjoying their vacation. Not asking, "what do you want to eat? Or not having to justify how I read a bus schedule wrong. If I misplanned, miscalculated, misunderstood something, it was only me, myself, and I that would have to deal with the consequences....and I, could care less what they would be.
I was doing an awesome job of not letting myself slide into thinking about the fact that I was indeed alone on a bus in the middle of what looked like no where after 48 hours of travel. After my second bus bound for Montezuma CR, I had to board a ferry to cross the Nicoya Pennisula. After a series of hand signals with the young gentleman driving my bus and a few visual cues from people who had clearly taken this journey before, I climbed into the bottom of the bus to find my luggage and dragged it along the gravel to the ferry. At this point Im still calm, cool, and collected. I find a seat on the top level of the boat and settle in for a ride....how long I'm not sure. They probably already announced it....in Spanish. Now, at this point I'm a little torn as to what to do. Previously, I had a terrible experience on a small water-crossing vessel. I puked the entire way from the island of St. Maartin to the island of Saba (google that if you haven't heard of it- it's a fasinating place). Do I take my beloved Dramamine (in order to pass out) or stick it out as to not miss any important information? I decide to stick it out being that I hadn't felt any sudden shifts in the boats movements. I take out my "The Power of Now" book to calm my nerves. I'm interrupted every 4 minutes by the "announcer" that was hired for this boat- I'm assuming he is an announcer and not the captain because I can't see how a captain would be able to navigate the boat and make so many announcements! If I was to follow "The Power of Now" philosophy I was reading about, I wouldn't be worrying about my future or dwelling on my past. So.....what was happening "now"? Well, "now" this announcer won't shut up! What could he possibly be saying?
The man: "If we start to sink, there are life vests on the side of the boat."
Me: Check.
The man: "If we hit an iceberg, women and child first on the life rafts".
Me: Amen
The man: "Empanadas with a surprise filling are being sold at the back of the boat"
Me:Roger that
The man: "It's never to early to drink some cervezas"
Me: (looking around) Apparently not
I look to my left and see a young couple making out. I look to my right and see a family of 4 all cuddled up on the bench. No one looks worried, in fact everyone on the boat looks extremely happy....with someone else! Here's where the panic sets in....I'm the only one alone. I do some breathing exercises and some positve self talk. Perhaps walking to the side of the boat would make me feel better. The view of the pennisula was beautiful. Ahhhh, "Power of Now", let's capture this moment on camera. Now, I hate looking through my pictures from vacation and seeing only scenery. It's a reminder that you were alone. I also hate asking someone else to take the picture, because then I think that they think I'm a loser for being alone. The final option is the long arm shot. That just says loser all over it. So, I sit back down. Is it too late to take the dramamine?
I lay myself down on the bench, and try to take a nap. I'm back to feeling perfectly content, alone, when the announcer says "please do not lay down, or put your feet on the seats"....IN ENGLISH! Really?????? This is the only announcement in English. Now I feel like Big Brother is watching.
I took a stroll around the boat and found this German threesome I saw on my bus ride. I'm going to stick with them for the following reasons: Germans always speak like 5 languages, and never seem to be confused or bothered by anything. As long as they looked happy, I would be happy. Not long after my self-imposed mental torture, our boat docks.
Here's what this boat ride taught me:
1. I was in Costa Rica, but I was still thinking like an uptight American
2. I probably should have doubled up on my dosage of Paxil for this trip
3. Costa Rican people are extremely affectionate with each other
4. If my Spanish lessons go well, maybe I could move here and be the announcer on this boat
5. Hand gestures are a universal language
6. Your mind likes to mess with you
I view this boat ride as a minor mental slip-up. I had made it so many hours on this trip just being happy, that my mind wanted to make me suffer. We have an insane ability to want to connect to negative thoughts. From the moment I stepped off that boat, I knew tackling this issue would be part of my journey. To be continued....
