Is it june yet?

Being a teacher, I tend to make many analogies between my life at work and my life at home. One such analogy is when it comes to relationships. The start of a new relationship is very much like September in the teaching world. New students, new personalities, writing lesson plans, revising old ones. Will the kids like me? Will I like them? How long until I can really be myself in the classroom? Some teachers feel you need to be a tyrant until December, then you can relax. By June, you are in teaching bliss. The kids know you, your expectations, your routines....your classroom runs itself. But how come it takes until June? Well, like anything else it takes hard work and time to perfect. Your confidence in who you are as a teacher grows over the course of those 10 months. It's hard to remember this fact when you start your school year. The first thing I hear my colleagues say is, "did they even read over the summer?" "Are these kids NOT as smart as last years?" As you struggle to acclimate yourself to your new tykes, you long for the easiness of the year past. From time to time you see former students in the halls, and you give them a nostalgic smile. "Why can't I have you back?"

Starting a new relationship is like starting in September. We can't help but carry with us the memories and ease of your last relationship. You know them, you know what to say, how to make them happy, what they like to eat, when to leave them alone. When that relationship ends, it's June! A fact I recently have found hard to remember. Starting over from scratch requires a lot of work and patience. I don't mean the kind of patience you need when your students says "I don't get it" one hundred times, but the "slow down" kind of patience. It's a good patience..but hard for a person like me who's quite impulsive.

About 2 weeks ago my patience was put to the test. I've recently started dating a new boo, who was an old boo, and is now a new boo again. We'll call him my boo for privacy sake. When it was established that old feeling are now new feelings, my impulsiveness kicked into high gear. I don't have a crush on, like, or find many men attractive. My boo came back into my life and reminded me of all of the things I had been looking for in a man. I was so excited and thankful that God had led us down the same path that I had tunnel vision. Everything I had worked so hard to regain in Costa Rica (learning to love just being with myself) was at risk....but I didn't care! I was in overdrive and my poor boo didn't know what he was in for.

That night I was at a work event, and I confided in a former teammate from work about him. The advice I was seeking was in the form of "what's the next step?' "Do I call him? Invite him over? Ask him to move in with me?" S (my former teammate) gave the advice of "if he's as awesome as you say he is, then just put that out there and invite him over." Delighted with his perspective, I texted my boo and asked if he wanted to come over. He responded with "I can't, I have plans, and I have plans tomorrow night too, what about this weekend?". I was so mad, and a little tipsy from the free wine, that I didn't respond. The whole way home I was questioning the situation. Had I misread what was going on? Was I making myself too vulnerable? I called every close friend in my phone and no one picked up! This wasn't looking good for my boo. It took every ounce of self control to not respond to "what about this weekend" because of my impulsive nature.

Thank fully, one of my closest best-ies J called me back just in the nick of time. She literally "talked me off the ledge". Here's the conversation.

Me- J, he's "busy" (sarcasm in my voice)

J- so?

Me- So??!! I feel like a fool

J- for what? Him having plans?

Me- Well, no....but why doesn't he want to see me?

J- How do you know he doesn't want to see you? He has plans Michelle! Do you want to date someone that doesn't have plans?

Me- well.....no

J- Here's your problem, you're used to a June relationship and it's September.....actually I'll give you November since you have a past

Me- J...you are wiser than your years

J- Don't be the crazy girl, because you're NOT....you're just starting over, and you have to get used to that.

In one conversation with J, my whole world became peaceful again. It is September..and I have to be patient. I've come to realize that, that doesn't mean my boo doesn't feel the same way...just, its going to take 10 months to get into the groove. As hard as that is for an impulsive maniac like myself to accept, I do. I now appreciate the small steps we have been taking. The ease of the conversation, the level of comfort ability, the excitement of getting to know someone all over again. Just recently, a friend of mine in response to me dating my old/new boo, said, "that's soooo exciting, so many people in long term relationships wish they could go back and enjoy the beginning". That hit it home folks....September here I come!